The Lies that you are telling yourself about your success.
Since you opened this newsletter I know you have uttered this horrible phrase before "I'm broke" or "I wish, but I just don't have the money for that". I get it, I have been there. I used to believe that I could not afford things that I desired. I used to feel broke.
I have been there, overdrawn account, maxed out credit cards, even having money in my account but the overwhelming feeling of it "not being enough". I came out the other side and I have learned a lot. I have invested in myself even when it "didn't look like I should" or when I had NO IDEA how the money was going to come in.
It took me a long time to learn some of these lessons, but it is my hope that if I share them with you, it will take you less time to learn what I learned.
1. We live in an unlimited universe with unlimited opportunities to provide abundance. When I used to think I was "broke" or feel like "I couldn't afford things" I felt like what I had was what I had. I was so scared of desiring more because I was afraid that it wouldn't happen, or worse that there "wasn't enough" for me. When I started telling myself and believing in the Universe being unlimited in abundance it was easier for me to be "ok" with desiring more money and more abundance.
2. There is ALWAYS money for my desires. This belief was a tough one, but once I started to turn to this belief I realized that I was using money as an excuse. When I had something I truly desired and I believed it would happen, it always did. No exception. I realized I was using this idea that I didn't have the money as an excuse to stay small, to not take risks, or to say no to things that I actually did not want. When I let my "No" be a "No" and my "Yes" be a "Yes" the money ALWAYS showed up; when I believed it would.
3. I cannot measure my success by the amount of money I bring in everyday. This lesson was something I forced myself to learn early on, but if I am being honest, sometimes I still have to remind myself of this. When you are an entrepreneur and you measure your success by how much money you make everyday you will feel like a FAILURE. You MUST be connected to your WHY. Of course stay connected to the amount of money you desire to create and feel into it. But you will not be making money every second of every day and when you don't you can not start to feel like a failure because that will keep the money you desire from you.
4. The amount of money in your account DOES NOT represent your worth. This was the HARDEST lesson for me. As I mentioned, I have been there - overdrawing my account, paying bills late, maxed out cards. How I got out of the drama was realizing that all of this did NOT reflect my self- worth. When I had my worth tied to this, of course, I felt HORRIBLE about myself and my business. When I unhooked my worth from the number in my account I was able to really feel how amazing I am, how successful I am and I was able to connect to my desires and the MONEY FLOWED IN.
5. Invest in yourself, because you do not have to do this alone. I was so in my own money drama for so long that I felt like if I just "worked hard enough" or "read enough" I would be able to fix it myself. But the fact was, it wasn't until I invested in myself (before I felt *ready*) that I was able to make the shifts. I hired a coach who helped me see where I was in drama, why I was keeping money from myself and how to change it. I would not have gotten here alone.
Here is the best part of all of this! I did it WHILE being in the feminine. One of the biggest blocks I see with my clients is that they do not FEEL into the abundance, and they keep themselves from their true desires.
As we know, the feminine is about finding everything right, being in love and acceptance for what is. When we can see everything as "a golden link in our chain of good" (thanks Florence Scovel Shinn) we can truly feel what it would be like to have abundance. When we can connect to that feeling and be in appreciation for it, we can bring it towards us.
I know money is a sticky topic but it doesn't have to be. I have completely changed my relationship with money and I know you can too. I hope if nothing else these lessons help you move from the money drama into infinite abundance.
To your Sexy Abundant Success!
So I have a confession to make to you and to be honest this is something I have thought about coming out and talking about more, but every time I think about including it in my e-mails I back down. I haven't written about it because I thought it might not be of interest for you, or that you would think it was so random and unrelated to building a business.
But it actually IS related.
Not only does it relate to business, but it is HOW I do business. Yes, it is related to the feminine but it is something even more.
I run my business just like I attract men, date them and have them so excited to serve my every desire.
Now before you close the e-mail huffing and puffing that, "it is so much easier for me to say that" because of whatever story you have going on, listen...It hasn't always been this way.
There was actually a time when I didn't think I was very attractive to men; and I had no idea how to date. I know it may not seem like that now, but that is the truth. In fact, there was a "turtleneck Lauren phase" where I would wear the most unfortunate clothing to cover up and hide myself (unfortunately, or fortunately all archives of that phase have been destroyed haha). I would chase men who weren't really interested, or I just wouldn't date and tell myself it was because "I was so busy", or "it is so difficult to find great men". But the fact was I didn't want to be rejected. Sound familiar?
The transformation into a man magnet did not come without work, but it was pretty simple, and like I said, I use how I relate to men and dating as my approach to my business.
Let me break it down a little more:
Attracting a man is like attracting your ideal clients. When I say I attract men I attract all kinds of men, but I attract a LOT of high quality men. Men who are passionate about what they do, have great jobs and awesome lives. I attract other men too, but I decline dates if I feel as though I would not have fun. This is just like ideal clients. Many women come to me, and some are totally my ideal clients. We hit it off. My packages can totally serve them and they are ready to invest. Some women come to me and they aren't my ideal client, so I decline working with them.
Dating men is just like being visible online and in communities. When I date men I am in so much appreciation for them and who they are as a person. I don't look at one man as my source of happiness or my source of a partnership. I am present and excited to be sharing time with them. I also *know* what a freaking awesome date I am. When I put myself out there online I do not see any one group, potential client or even package as my source to a thriving business. I also *know* what a freaking awesome coach I am for my ideal clients.
Having men serve my desires is just like the Universe serving my desires. When I say men serve my desires I mean they do anything and everything to make me happy. I am really clear about what I desire, if it is a specific restaurant, museum or movie I tell the man. Then he has the chance to give me exactly what I desire, and that is what men (and the masculine) want to do. Here is a secret: men just want to make women happy. I know this is not how we are taught or the game that seems to be played, but I promise you this is the truth. When you are clear with your desires to the Universe you give the Universe a chance to serve you exactly what you want, or something even better. When you also start believing that we live in a Universe that wants to serve our desires you will start to see more of what you want.
Like I said at the beginning of this e-mail, coming out and telling you this was tough for me. But I have a deeper desire to share with you all that has helped me in my business AND my love life.
And with that.....I am off to go on a lunch date with an Italian ;) I told you, this is how I run my business.
To your sexy success!
I know If you are anything like me you have a to do list a mile long not to mention all of the things that you want to do. Feeling overwhelmed and burdened is the quickest way to slip in to a dull life that is full of obligation. I know you are striving for a life full of excitement and joy, but how do you get there when you feel like there are so many things you “should” do.
Well there is one word that can change EVERYTHING
Saying no to things that you do not want or things that you are doing only out of obligation can start to transform your life.
My top priority is self care. Self care can take on many different forms and for me include taking baths to relax, keeping my frig stocked with healthy and nutritious food, and working out regularly. For you it could me something totally different, but the principle still stands. Making yourself and your well being the top priority in your life. No one is going to come along and give you permission to put yourself first, you just have to start doing it.
Now I have been making myself a priority for a long time, but when I started to incorporate the word “no” into my vocabulary more I started to see my life change before my eyes. I had no idea how much I was still living with a sense of obligations to others before myself. I looked at my life and started to see where I was coming up second, third or even last on the priority list. It was shocking! But then I just started telling people no when I didn’t want to go somewhere, or no, I’m sorry I cant when there was something else I wanted to do. Now, don’t get me wrong it wasn’t as easy as I just started to say no and that was that. I felt a lot of guilt come up. But I knew if I wanted to live a life where I was my top priority I needed to start saying no.
When I started to put myself first on all of my priority list I started to feel more relaxed and more excited about every day. Things began to feel easier and more in line with the life I desired to have.
So today I empower you to start putting yourself first. If that means saying no to something you feel obligated to do but don’t want to, or just taking a few extra minutes to yourself. You are the most important thing in your life; don’t ever forget that. When you start to prioritize yourself others will too.
How will you put yourself first today?
As this week begins I felt so inspired to share my happiness with you. I am sitting here on Monday afternoon running a business that I love, recently getting back from an amazing beach vacation with amazing people, and planning more travel for 2015. My life looks completely different than it did 3 years ago, but I could not be happier.
If you would have told me 2 years ago that I would be happier after my dad died I would have thought you were crazy; but its TRUE.
When my dad died, the life that I was planning was no longer an option; I was now without a dad, without a sense of support, without my pillar of strength. I never thought I would be able to move on. I thought I was destined to live a life of regret and unhappiness. I thought that my best years were behind me and it would be all down hill from here.
But there was a part of me that would not accept option. I made the decision to live a life that I loved. I decided that the best way to honor my dad was to love every moment that I had, and to go after what I wanted. One thing that I knew I wanted was more travel in my life.
Growing up I did not travel a lot and it was not until 2011 that I took my first trip abroad; I caught the travel bug and I caught it hard. I thought travel would be something I would only experience every few years. After my dad died I felt this urgency to travel more. To take advantage of any and very opportunity I had to see new places.
Traveling not only brings me so much joy, but also a deep feeling of gratitude. Every time I visit a new place I come back with new ideas, deep gratitude for what I have, and new desires for what I want in the future. Traveling also gives me something to look forward to. All too often after loss we focus on what we do not have, or what we are going to miss out on; but finding something to look forward to gives us a renewed sense of joy. What better way to live our lives than with a renewed sense of happiness?
So as you move forward in this week, think about one thing that could bring you happiness. What is it? I would love to hear from you! Let me know what it is this week that you are looking forward to, that is bringing you happiness.